October 9, 2008

Reclaimed bile juices

Dear property owners of Santa Clara,

As much as I appreciate your movement to nurture the sidewalks during their critical summer-growth phase, I do not appreciate being sprayed with reclaimed wastewater every day on the way home from work. Being a bicyclist, I will choose being hit with poo-water over being hit by cars, but I will not like it. I will also be forced to curse your name and everything you stand for. [For example, in the following story.]

Legend has it that Axmark was taking a walk around Sun's beautiful campus one evening, contemplating acceptance of Sun's fascist policies, as an impact sprinkler's arm fatefully slammed against its nozzle. Axmark was quickly doused in processed toilet liquids, and came to realize that he didn't have to take that kind of shit.

With terrible puns,

Chris' Raging Bile Duct