March 13, 2009

On the less infamous perils of biking to work

Anybody can be hit by a motor vehicle when riding a bike, but it takes real talent to be discriminated against by someone whose political philosophy is grounded in the 1940s.

According to recent (and obscure) Gallup polls, most Americans believe that discrimination against bike riders is a thing of the past. I have first-hand evidence that they are tragically mistaken.

As few as two days ago I was a victim of drive-by Neo-McCarythism. While biking across an intersection, dressed all in green, with no emblems of Che Guevara to be found, a man in a blue, 1990 POS yelled out a single word — "Communist!"

His car screeched down the off-ramp, insofar as a crappy little car can do so. Ever the optimist, I first thought that the man might be giving me a friendly warning. I checked behind me to see if there was a communist attempting to common-ownership-ify my wallet, but there was no-one to be found! At that moment, I was struck with the realization...

Maybe it was psychological. Maybe it was the reclaimed waste water. All I know is that, somehow, I felt unclean. I was being called a communist, because I was biking to work. At that moment I could only take solace in the fact that, due to the extreme crapitude of his car, the accuser must be a really bad capitalist.

Although I don't personally associate the act of pedaling one's legs with a desire to overthrow the bourgeoisie, I can take a guess at the twisted reasoning that leads some people to do so. Bikers don't buy leg-gas. In the extreme case, where you bike everywhere, you don't even need a car. You know who else didn't have cars? Communists.

In any case, the modern-age bike-rider should be aware of the political sentiments surrounding biking, lest history repeat itself.

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